Feeling Blue
I intended to jot this in my journal but I realized that I haven't made a post here since the new year started. So, it's January 11. It has been 11 days since 2018 began and life has been "okay." The whole time I was on semester break at school was both invigorating and boring. Invigorating because I somewhat got the break which was probably good for my body and mind (you know, not stressing over a literature review or research). However, nothing particularly exciting happened, hence the boredom. I planned to visit kuya and ate in Canada spontaneously thinking I wouldn't be spending on lodging because I'd be staying in their apartment anyway, but whoever said lodging is the only thing that should be factored in when traveling? I realized that I'd, of course, be spending money on food, clothes (because my winter wardrobe no longer fits me, sadly haha), airfare (though I could've used my points on my card, thanks, Chase Sapphire!), and of course, omiyage or pasalubong. You see, this would not be a problem if I were still working because I'd have a stable income. So instead, I spent practically my whole time at home in my room or in the living room watching various tv shows and films on Netflix (although to be fair, I had gone out with Roger and Terry on some days)--which was quite agonizing because I was not productive.
School started last Monday, and I thought I'd be very excited about it because I'd be seeing familiar faces again. It's only been the four days since the semester began, and I'm already feeling drained. I have 3 classes this semester, two of which are statistics based and one about human development (I am after all in social science). This may sound ironic but the past five years of my professional life entailed dealing with numbers and one could presume that I should be adept at it, but no! It's something I dread about every single day. Haha. I'm just not a numbers person, I guess. But I have to take them as they are required. I don't think they're that bad though. I just really have to exert more effort, which is what I've been doing since I pursued grad school anyway.
I have 3 classes, which means, tuition is much higher compared to last semester. Aside from the exuberant tuition and fees (which I don't get to utilize, so I don't understand why), I also have to finance my books, too. And books aren't cheap. Last semester, my professor was kind enough to provide all of the course readings so that was really nice. With no full-time job, I'm not sure how I'm going to survive, although having a full-time job wouldn't really be practical as the courseload in grad school is generally heavy. I must admit that I have substantial savings to keep me going for the time being, but definitely, that won't last. I'm actually looking for jobs right now, part-time jobs at least, and my classmates have been really helpful. Lea mentioned over the break that there was a department at school looking for a Graduate Assistant. Its duties and qualifications fit my industry background so I applied for it single-mindedly. Am currently waiting if I'll be offered an interview so we'll see! If I don't get it, however, it's fine. It just means it's not for me. Jarret, on the other hand, mentioned that there's another vacancy at a different campus and mentioned that if I'm interested, he reached out to the right person who may get me the job. However, I may be underqualified for the position so I'm a bit hesitant to apply. I'm very thankful to them nevertheless.
I feel that I don't have much time left in graduate school. My first year ends this semester, and that's just crazy! I really want to make the best of it. Aside from worrying about my coursework and making sure that I have good grades, I must also start networking with people in academia because most likely, I'm very certain that endpoint is there anyway...and it's something I see myself doing for the rest of my life.
PS,
I thought I'd feel somewhat better after jotting my thoughts down here, but I'm still feeling blue. I'm not even sure what my concerns are. I just know I don't feel good about something. Sigh.
School started last Monday, and I thought I'd be very excited about it because I'd be seeing familiar faces again. It's only been the four days since the semester began, and I'm already feeling drained. I have 3 classes this semester, two of which are statistics based and one about human development (I am after all in social science). This may sound ironic but the past five years of my professional life entailed dealing with numbers and one could presume that I should be adept at it, but no! It's something I dread about every single day. Haha. I'm just not a numbers person, I guess. But I have to take them as they are required. I don't think they're that bad though. I just really have to exert more effort, which is what I've been doing since I pursued grad school anyway.
I have 3 classes, which means, tuition is much higher compared to last semester. Aside from the exuberant tuition and fees (which I don't get to utilize, so I don't understand why), I also have to finance my books, too. And books aren't cheap. Last semester, my professor was kind enough to provide all of the course readings so that was really nice. With no full-time job, I'm not sure how I'm going to survive, although having a full-time job wouldn't really be practical as the courseload in grad school is generally heavy. I must admit that I have substantial savings to keep me going for the time being, but definitely, that won't last. I'm actually looking for jobs right now, part-time jobs at least, and my classmates have been really helpful. Lea mentioned over the break that there was a department at school looking for a Graduate Assistant. Its duties and qualifications fit my industry background so I applied for it single-mindedly. Am currently waiting if I'll be offered an interview so we'll see! If I don't get it, however, it's fine. It just means it's not for me. Jarret, on the other hand, mentioned that there's another vacancy at a different campus and mentioned that if I'm interested, he reached out to the right person who may get me the job. However, I may be underqualified for the position so I'm a bit hesitant to apply. I'm very thankful to them nevertheless.
I feel that I don't have much time left in graduate school. My first year ends this semester, and that's just crazy! I really want to make the best of it. Aside from worrying about my coursework and making sure that I have good grades, I must also start networking with people in academia because most likely, I'm very certain that endpoint is there anyway...and it's something I see myself doing for the rest of my life.
PS,
I thought I'd feel somewhat better after jotting my thoughts down here, but I'm still feeling blue. I'm not even sure what my concerns are. I just know I don't feel good about something. Sigh.
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